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Sunday, 01 November 2009

One God inspired and God fuelled week!

WOW - what a week... in one single week, I've experienced so much from God that once again I'm fuelled and compelled to write...

Not only did I experience God's power breaking human barriers but also God's grace as He gradually change me.

God breaking human barriers
In the current week, due to work deadlines I've been working quite a lot of hours... in fact 50.1 hrs in 5 working days which included 22 hours in the first 2 days... literally sleeping every night around 1am and at one point a 5 am nap!! and then getting up at 630-645 as I'm working in Perth. In efforts to repair the damaged I've done to my body in the past year with numerous cans of Redbull / Lucozade during busy season, I've made a vow to go energy drink free this year and even try to lay off the coffee I KNOW!!! Hence, sleeping only a few hours during this whole is in itself a scream for energy drinks. I've proud to say that no only did I not resort to ANY energy drinks this week, I also managed to stay coffee free - my only real caffine was a regular tetley tea with milk and sugar! So just where does God fit into this? Being in the job I am in, I know myself quite well of how I am when I don't get enough sleep - mainly a. non-functional at work until around noon time, b. a pure grouch, and c. just tired and moody. In this week, I just want to praise God as despite my lack of sleep, I remained in positive spirits during the whole week, felt energetic throughout the days of the week, and managed to get the work I needed to get done. Based on the hours that I worked this week, there was just no physical way my body could take that, but the fact that I didn't feel tired at all and wasn't grouchy just shows that God can exceed our physical limitations

Experiencing God's grace and developing more humility
Last week, I led the worship on sunday as it as joint worship. It has been a while since I've led worship and I think I've definitely took time out during the week to think about songs and what order to go to sing them etc. After finishing leading worship, I'd received an email (it was sent out to all worship leaders and helpers) with some "constructive" comments... basically just comments about my worship. I must admit - I am a perfectionist and hence, in everything I do, I make sure that everything is to the tee (all "i"s are dotted and "t"s crossed!!) Hence, I'll feel very offended if someone comments negatively on my worship. Music is my area and hence, when someone "tries to tell me what to do"... let's just say the claws come out.... but amazingly when I opened the email (knowing full well what is to follow and it began with "please don't be offended by my comments...") I read and then I said to myself "ok - some of these comments are true and I'll try to remember them for the next worship" Simple as that - I didn't feel any anger at all! nor did I feel offended! Rather, I was thinking about how can I help them to better worship God? Knowing myself, this change in mindset can only be God's work in me...

Finally, on Thursday (this is a good one!)... it was supposed to be a closing meeting with a client (i.e. at the end of an audit, we meet with the client and just brief them on our findings). Usually, the managers and partners attend this meeting with the upper management of the client... but nowadays they're getting more of us assistant managers involved so we can be prepared for being a manager. My direct manager was on vacation this week (there is my manager and then an overall group manager as it's a FTSE 250 client), but based on our understanding, he'd like me to be more involved and hence, I was at the opening meeting and hence was expecting I was going to the closing meeting! After all, I do handle one of the more complex side of the business and hence, I'd just like to attend so if they have any questions, I can try to answer. Meeting time: 1000. at about 950 or so I decided to take a quick stop at the toilet, by the time I'd come back and went to the other meeting room to find the manager, partner and the group assistant manager... then a staff told me they'd just got up and left a few minutes before I came into the room.. WHAT!!?!?!?! did they just leave without me for the meeting??!?!... I tried to then following the direction they went in - no signs. Called reception to see if a room was booked for KPMG - nothing... I can't believe they just left for the meeting without me!! I was absolutely raging!! my exact thoughts at that moment was - WHISKY TANGO FOXTROT!!! I was just SO MAD... like HOW could they be so rude and just exclude me from the meeting!!! But the amazing thing was.. the anger was only in me for about 5-10 mins... and then after awhile.. I settled down.. and I was just able to treat the manager normally for the rest of the afternoon when they came back. The old me would have totally made it known that I was MAD... I would have probably give them some "face" to see to make it know I was not pleased... but my emotions remained in tact and I was just amazing and it didn't wreck the rest of my day... and I was actually feeling fine... In comparison in how I would have reacted, I think it's God who's showing me that sometimes, these sort of things don't matter... yes it could potentially relate to my career performance... but it's OK.. there are more to life than this....

So... at the end of this God inspired and God fuelled week, I am just completely thankful just simply for everything in this week God... Praise God I pray that I'll continually be inspired by God and to simply live for Him....

Saturday, 10 October 2009

Compelled to write

Day 4 - and it's the end of the conference.... but in the words of Pastor Brian Houston, where there's an end, it's a new beginning. And it's true. As this train heads towards Doncaster from London Kings Cross, I will attempt to write out my thoughts as I just felt so compelled to do so. Right now my ears are popping like every 2 secs (no reason why - we're not flying!) and I'm trying hard not to feel motion sickness. So above all of these things, I'll try to write it out.

4 Days - you can say it's short or it's long.. but it's just amazing how God can do His work in whatever time frame. From each message, I only feel more and more than there's more than I need to do in this world - to be his hands and feet because that's what we were made for, what we were "bought" for the price of Jesus Christ. And in every song that followed, it only confirmed that what the world needs is Jesus and that we were made for the works of Christ, and that we are his forever.

Today's conference ended with a message from Craig Groschel (Sr Pastor of LifeChurch) and it hit 4 key points
1. Answer the Spirit's Prompting (a "God Encounter") - When you have a "God Moment" - don't ignore it, or just feel passionately for the 2 mins thereafter - do something about it! Step into the voice of God

2. Experience Certain Uncertainty - yup that's right, you go - without knowing anything, except that you need to go. Take a step of faith. See Christ - walk towards Him, take that first step. Yeah - you have no idea what it'll bring you, but hey - God knows and shouldn't that be enough?

3. Predictable resistance - In each circumstance where we rise above, the enemy will be there to knock you right back down - so expect it. There'll be barriers and challenges trying to prevent you from walking in the direction of God. Don't be discouraged and remain faithful to God. Remember - if you blame yourself for failure, then you'll be tempted to take credit at success

4. Uncommon Commitment - My life is not my own. It's not me who live but Christ who lives in me. Be committed to the fact that our goal in life is not our own desire but that of God's

A good analogy is the VIP pass to a concert - whenever someone asks what you're doing in a certain area or an area is restricted access - you flash your VIP pass. In the same manner when you are discouraged or challenged when responding to the voice of God - let the bible be your all access VIP pass. Because He has called me to do so.

In every time of worship, I simply stand there in awe as the lyrics of every song - so carefully selected to resonate the message it followed - solidify and confirm who we are, what we need to do - as an individual as a part of THE church - the body UNITED (yes - not MY church as in to only do things for your own church because ALL churches form ONE body of Christ), how great our God is, and just how much the world needs Jesus.

Never let human rationalisations or limitations be the barrier - creativity spurs from limitations not from obtain / requiring more resources. WHY ? - if it can be rationalised by human logic, then it's not a "God thing" because God is simply incomprehensible by any human knowledge - yup, our knowledge is THAT menial.

And so the invitation for all those who read my xanga or even stumble upon it - I'd encourage you to attend the Hillsong Colour 2010 (Women's only) Conference and / or Hillsong Europe Conference 2010 at the O2 Area. I recommend not because it's Hillsong and for it's Hillsong name - but simply because you'll get so much out of the resources they've gathered / organised. So that you may be motivated and find God's calling for you. So that you may be changed, prepared and ready to do God's work - Whatever it may be. Think of it like regular maintenance for your car. You gotta check up periodically to see how you're doing and whether we're running properly (i.e. doing what God wants us to do). It has changed me and I'm sure if you take up this challenge - you'll be changed as well.

The end of the conference only indicates one thing. No - not that this sudden passion that has arouse in me will die in 2 weeks as I head back to my daily life - No. It only marks the beginning of a new journey - finding out what God want me to do and doing it. Because if there's one thing I got out of this conference, it's that there's SO MUCH to do in this world for God. God is always short of hands and feet to carry out his work - so what are we waiting for?

Praise God! - why? In the past 40 mins while I was writing this, not only has the wifi cooperated and loaded quickly (on my way down from Edinburgh, speed was slow as a snail so I was expecting the same), but my ears were no longer popping and I didn't feel motion sickness at all - amazing!

Thursday, 08 October 2009

PS... I forgot

I also forgot to mention that as I was having these deep reflections on my trip home... heading towards the luggage area to claim my luggage, I was alarm by some crazy screams and when I looked down at my feet (yes - down and NOT up), I was surprised to find dear Iris sprawled next to my hand luggage on the group and Sarah and Susi behind me. The girls had decided to surprise me by picking me up at the airport.... nothing really beats having your loved ones picking u up from the airport... I was close to a *tear*.... thanks girls - Love you lots... xoxo

Wednesday, 07 October 2009

Reflections...

My trip back to Vancouver was certainly memorable and quick! Just as I thought when I was heading BACK to Vancouver - I kinda knew it was gonna be over in a flash. 10 days, not long, not short.. sorta in the middle but it definitely felt like a whirlwind.. But by the time I was packing and getting ready to leave Vancouver, it was definitely an on-the-fence feeling... as much I as missed all my friends and family in Vancouver... I felt like there was something I needed to do back in Edinburgh... it was almost like getting ready to tackle yet another season of audit, but hopefully with a different perspective.

After being away for a year, going back really brought new insights. It is only when you go away and don't get a lot of time to chat with friends, only a brief word here and there or a quick message on facebook, and come back - you realise where all your true friends are. Friends who will always be your friends are those that not matter how long you haven't seen each other, when you just sit back down together, it feels like you've never left, you just continue on chatting, picking up where you'd last left off and never an awkward silence. I find that when I was growing up, I was always really insecure with my friends, really scared that one day they'll just stop being my friend b/c I did or said something wrong... (my dearest friends - please don't be offended, it's not you.. its just me). Coming back to Vancouver this time around, I feel truly blessed for all the friends I have. That while we don't always talk, when we see each other again, it just feels like I never left... and for that I'm thankful. I'm simply grateful to have such wonderful friends who love me so much... and of course - family too... For asian families, expression of love has always been quite subtle, but it's only when you see the smile in their faces when you return or the longing in their faces when they ask when you'll be back, hoping it'll be soon, you realise just how much you mean to them and just how much they miss you when you're away. I love you , I love you Mom, I love you Dad, I love you Chrissy Pooh, I love you Auntie, Uncle and Cousins, and I love you all my friends... thank you for simply being you and extending your friendship and love to me.

Today is Day 1 of the Hillsong Conference... travelling 4hr 45 on the train and then another 45 mins via tube and DLR (hauing my case and laptop along)... I was tired... but when I got into the conference centre, I was determined to get "into" it.. I sang and I sang, but it wasn't until Craig Groeschel's (founder of Lifechurch.tv) message which really struck me. I used to have "IT" but then I lost "IT". The fire, the passion, to simply do everything for the glory of God, devote my life to Him for in Him because I have died so He may live in me - so why haven't I shown it or done it yet?
He left us with 3 simple prayers that he prayed when he realised he was doing everything for church growth rather than for the glory of God and was trying to prove his worth through his works:
- God, stretch me - because there's so much more in me for you to use
- God, heal me - from my addictions to whatever diverts my attention away from you
- God, ruin me - because I must first be broken down before I can be built up.
That alone has inspired me to get "IT" back... because God holds just *that* much more for me... Looking forward to Day 2

Thursday, 24 September 2009

With the remaining battery life I shall attempt to blog

15 days since my last post. Not only has it been a year but now it's already my trip home, seems only like yesterday I booked my ticket and waited for this trip. Time passes on by too quickly.

Anyways really just wanted to blog my random observations this morning. Upon arriving at heathrow bright and early at 10 to 8, I needed to go from terminal 1 to terminal 3. I was slightly dissappointed that I don't get to go to the posh terminal 5. I needed to take one of those transfer coaches. You know and airport is big when:
- there are coaches to shuffle u around terminals
- there are traffic circles for internal traffic
- it takes 7 mins to go from one terminal to another
- during ur journey u pass by endless amounts of metal tunnels (wonder where they go)

and u know how we always blame the conveyor belt for our dented cases? It's not the one which our luggage comes out, it's when it's transporting around the airport. I saw a spiral slide just like the ones we had back at my primary school!!! They're so steep - no wonder we get dented cases!! Lol mytstery solved hahahah

next I roamed around the shops in terminal 3 and as usual plenty of big name shops was just a bit shocked at some of the price tags, but should I be?
- Valentino handbag, cool and everything with funky pleats but it's shiny patent!!! Looks plasticky. Almost £900!!!
- picked up a necklace by barracat or smth like that. No chain just a rope like a tassle rope as the necklace with thr pendant being a big chunky glass heart. Yes be it that it was a uniquely shaped heart it felt plasticky and didn't look u know - WOW. Price tag, almost £90!!!
Seriously some of these items are extortionate and I have no idea why anyone would shell out that kinda money. Well I guess the people who do, it's only mere spare change for them

anyways time for home! On my flight and 25 mins until departure time. Good thing I still have 3g out here on the plane kekeke. And I'm delighted that there is a USB plug at my seat, which means I can charge my iPhone!!! And I can listen to music whoo hooo!

But I'm still shafted in that corp IT wiped my iTunes without letting me know and hence essentially wiped out my iTunes library which my iPhone is synced to. Therefore I could not sync up my iPhone to jail break it again so I can use it in back home cuz I just realised last night I didn't upgrade to version 3.1!!! Whoo that was a mouth full!

Ok - toodles ~